Sep 16, 2013

hey, ugly...

I'm sorry, but I'm just not quite sure how else to address this letter.

We've had a rocky relationship these past five years, haven't we?  I knew when Riley and I got married that it wouldn't always be easy, but I never imagined that you would be the cause of so much of our marital strife.  Yeah, I know you think you were subtle... you were not.  I knew all about your relationship.  Well, after we were already married, that is.  It didn't take long then for me to realize that when he walked in the door after a long day of hard work, that you had never been far from his mind.  We had plenty of heated discussions over you.  I told him that I just couldn't deal with your presence in his life.  He said that he needed you and the support that you gave him.  He was comfortable with you.  A little too comfortable, if you ask me.  Eventually, we just stopped talking about you.  But you never left.  You were the elephant in the room.  The horrible, ugly, beige, reclining elephant sitting right there in the corner of the living room.  I didn't like it, but I had begun to give up, believing that I would just have to come to terms with the fact that you were always going to be a part of our lives.  No matter how close I would try to get to Riley, you would always come between us.  Literally.


But, no more.  Because, guess what?  In just a few short weeks we'll be moving onto a sailboat.  Yeah, I know you know... you were never far away when Riley was scheming or dreaming.  Looking over his shoulder as he read his sailing magazines, and supporting him as he made his plans.   But what you probably didn't realize, is that Riley is leaving you behind.  No, even better.  He's letting you go, completely.  I win, you lose.

However, before you go, I just want to thank you.  Thank you for teaching me patience.  Thank you for helping me to learn not to let ugly, insignificant things come between a man and wife.  Thank you for reminding me that in time, good always triumphs over evil.

I hope you make some other man very, very happy.  This time, maybe you could try to find one without a wife.
                                                 
                                                              Best wishes,
 

34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

      Delete
  2. love this post.

    goodbye ugly!

    hello big wide open blue sea.............

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha this is hilarious!!! I love it :) And congrats on finally getting rid of it! Michael wants a recliner and I've fought it with every ounce of my being!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha that picture is hilarious. I think every married couple has something the other person hates! AJ would be thrilled if I ever gave away my sweatpants :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahah such a fun post, enjoyed reading it truly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is hilarious! Great "love" letter :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can you get rid of the one in my basement too?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. Thanks! I thought it was a pretty awesome occasion. :)

      Delete
  9. You're hilarious. Excellent title ;) Good riddance!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ohmygod I love this! My husband had his "ugly" too that he brought into our marriage: an ancient beat-up Mercury Mountaineer that functioned on most days but just wouldn't run others. I finally talked him into letting it go when we moved and could only take one car with us {overseas shipping}, but it was an emotional process!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, why do they always get so attached to the worst stuff? I mean, come on! :)

      Delete
  11. Hahahaha I laughed out loud at this post. Awesome, truly awesome! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. hahah! this is so SO COOL! well done you, girl! :) really.. made me laugh! thanks for that :) !

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is a hilarious letter! Really enjoyed it! (∩_∩)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. No, thank goodness! I was little surprised about that myself!

      Delete
  15. Ahh I still remember the day Blue Ugly departed from our humble abode. The taste of victory is sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Soo much fun! Bye bye old thing and hello open waters! What a fun adventure to take!! You both inspire married couples everywhere :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've been living with the ugliest pumpkin orange leather-ish chair for ages, mostly because I am WAY too lazy to carry it upstairs to the curb for trash day! (Will trash guys even pick up an ugly chair?) Glad you have an excellent excuse to say goodbye to yours!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hahaha, what a creative interpretation of a love letter. I love everything about this post. It's so funny. I especially love the part when you say "I win, you lose. Go you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! My favorite part was the winning altogether. :)

      Delete
  19. Hahaha - It took me a minute and then I was with you! Love the approach and am glad for you too. :) It's amazing what we wives tolerate for the sake of peace! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Stumbled across your blog today and this is the funniest thing I have read in awhile! I love how you wrote this and think it's awesome that you are going on such an awesome adventure!

    ugottahavehart.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. New reader, here. I came across your blog via an instagram post on bonlook's feed. random. anyways, your quickly approaching life change sounds like such a great adventure and I'm looking forward to reading/viewing all about it. -Misty @ www.momistabeginnings.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Misty! I'm so glad that you stopped by! Thanks for following along!

      Delete
  22. i could not stop laughing!
    this was fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hahahaha this is hilarious! Yay for getting rid of the hideous chair!

    Lauren
    Exploring My Style

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I enjoy reading what you have to say!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...