Sep 17, 2013

I wouldn't take it if I were you

a rare and special moment on our honeymoon when a stranger actually offered to take our picture for us.
If you had the chance to relive a moment in your past, would you actually take it?

I truly have had a blessed life. I have so many wonderful memories... from childhood all the way through these first five years of marriage. I can pick out special moments, like a family vacation to Disney World, the day my family brought our dog Lucy home, the morning Riley brought flowers to my house and I had the sneaking suspicion that he was going to propose later, and the moment that we said "I do." But if I actually had the chance to relieve any one of those moments, I don't think that I would take it.

a family vacation to Charleston and Cyprus Gardens.  perfect opportunity for romanticizing.
I have this bad habit of romanticizing the future. Whether it be a trip I'm about to take to a new destination, a major life milestone, or just a special day, I dream up the perfect scenario and then find myself disappointed when reality doesn't live up to my grand expectations. It's not even intentional, and it's taken me awhile to realize what I was doing.

a surprise trip to Niagara Falls. I finally started to get my romanticizing in check, therefore... it was just right.
I think we often do the same thing when we look back on the past, as well.  If I truly could relive that experience that was so memorable, would it really be just as wonderful?  For me, it wouldn't.  If I really thought about it, I'd remember how miserably hot it was at Disney World that summer, and how much my dad hated the crowds.  And I'd probably remember that my nose was running when I said "I do" and that I really just wanted to blow it without everyone watching.  That's not to say that they aren't  great memories, maybe even better because of their flaws.   And that's not to say that we shouldn't reminisce.  But relive them?  No thanks!

 It also seems that, in my own experience, dwelling too much in the past (in a broader sense) seems to hinder me in the present, and certainly starts to impact my future.  It is way, way too easy to get stuck.  I'd rather try to find new moments to enjoy, and new experiences to remember.  I guess I really always have believed that "the best is yet to come."

But then, that's probably just me romanticizing the future again.

18 comments:

  1. I love this. I do the same thing when looking back at the past. Tile has a funny way of helping us forget the parts that weren't so great. But I think I like it that way.

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  2. I don't think I'd want to re-live anything either. Because what if you did, and then it went horribly and you were stuck with the crappy memory from then on? It's just as nice to sit around reminiscing. :-)

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  3. hah! :)
    I get your point, and do agree with you.. those moments might not be as wonderful, as they were.
    SO let's hope for the future to bring more amazing experiences! :)

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  4. You are a wise woman Allison. And so right!
    I do the romanticizing too - have ruined many a Christmas for myself this way. No going back to the past! And hopefully less "perfect-day" expectations for the future.

    Miriam

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  5. I love this memory for Blogtember!!
    LINK UP on my blog today too!! Xoxo

    www.styleafterhours.com

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  6. I totally agree with you! I just can't quite think of anything I want to relieve, simply because it was what it was. If I were to relive it, it probably would be disappointing, like you said ; ) And I wouldn't want to change anything, so why go backward?

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  7. I like the way you took this prompt. You are right, if we really think about a moment, there is always something that we'd kind of balk or cringe at, so why not just live in the present.

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  8. Your honeymoon looks so incredible! And I had no idea that you've been married for five years! That's awesomesauce - congratulations!

    Also, like so many wise women above me, I agree with you today. But then again, I think that's true pretty much everyday. Love your blog, Allison!

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  9. That rainbow is so great!
    Up until recently, I would have said no that I wouldn't relive the past. I believe that every event makes us who we are today and that everything happens for a reason.
    But if I could have one more day with my brother...I'd take it in a heartbeat!

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  10. I love the picture of you guys in the boat. I wouldn't go back to the past if I could. There are some things I would like to change (things I did or did not do), but who's to know if things would turn out better than they did?

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  11. I love this and see your point! Love today's blog challenge.

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  12. Oh my goodness, the photo in the boat is beautiful! The trees, the water... So pretty!

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  13. Girl! I am with you! I always have this unrealistic expectation of how something will be and I have had more disappointments because of that trait than anything else! I think you're right about spending too much time in the past! Great post.

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  14. See, there are so many memories I'd love to relive. Memories with my boyfriend, with a loved one who passed away, seeing old childhood friends. In some ways, they wouldn't be as special but in others, it'd feel like such a special opportunity. It sucks but there's a lot in my life I regret. To go back, even for just a short memory would feel wonderful :)

    Lauren
    Exploring My Style

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  15. I love that you choose to focus on the happy things in your life and choose to feel blessed instead of focusing on the negative!

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  16. I love this. Here's to living in the present.

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  17. I went through a phase where all I did was want to relive the past because I felt like I had made so many poor decisions that I could have done better now that I know better. But.. I really had to let it sink in my head that I wouldn't 'know' better if I didn't have those experiences.

    I've given up on romanticizing the future because things never happen the way I envision it or expect it and I just feel let down. So.. I just try to be as realistic as possible.

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  18. I can totally relate with this. I often find myself daydreaming about how something is going to happen and sometimes about things I know will never happen. I have found that it can sometimes be negative for me, actually a lot of times. Just as you described. It's funny how we do these things, isn't it? I go through phases. I was a big fantasizer in high school but then sort of came out of it. Now and then I'll occasionally get in a romanticizing rutt! :)

    Btw, your pictures are beautiful. I'm so jealous!

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